


DWC Oneshot Prompts

by TheGoddessDivine



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-01 22:03:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 15,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13304223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoddessDivine/pseuds/TheGoddessDivine
Summary: Various oneshots done for a tumblr prompt challenge. Topics range from fluff to smut!





	1. Christmas Prompt

**Author's Note:**

> I recently participated in a super fun Rick Sanchez prompt challenge on tumblr! I thought I would share them here for you guys as well, let me know what you think!

**Prompt #1:** Being Rick's neighbor and getting into a passive aggressive Christmas lights competition with him, like whose house is more obnoxiously bright

You rummaged through the basement as the radio played Jingle Bell Rock softly in the background. You were sweating as you hauled out the large boxes marked “XMAS STUFF” but didn’t mind the exercise. Christmas was the greatest time of year! Full of love, kindness, cheer, and kicking Rick Sanchez’s ass at Christmas light decorating.

You pushed the last box to the top of your stairs and grinned at yourself. Putting on an obnoxious Christmas sweater, you went outside to get to work. Your dog, Hodor, barked and weaved between your feet as you got to work. You carefully brought out the lights, arranging them by color and size. You always went for a classy look. Well organized and put together was the best way to do it. Your *ahem* _neighbor_ on the other hand went for tacky, loud, and obnoxious. The municipal court almost banned you both from putting up lights all together after the disaster of 2011, but thankfully Christmas cheer had prevailed.

It wasn’t long before you heard the garage across the street slowly open. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath for what was to come.

“S-seriously? Organizing by color? Jeesus,” you heard a slurring voice from across the street.

“Fuck off Sanchez! I’m pretty sure that restraining order is still in place!” you yelled over your shoulder as you untangled the multi-color strand. You heard some grumbling before a loud scrapping noise. Spinning around, you saw your old, alcoholic, mad scientist neighbor pushing some sort of giant machine onto his driveway. Hodor started barking as Sanchez flipped him off.

“Put a mu-muzzle on that thing would you, I’m working.” He flipped a switch, causing the machine to come to life as it spit lights all over his house. They were a magnificent display greens and reds, draping elegantly over the architecture of the house.

“Hey hey hey! No! I’m doing elegant Christmas this year!” You started marching across the street. Flask in hand, Sanchez took a swig and turned to leer at you. He patted his machine.

“This -uurp- baby just finished the entire house in the time it took you to untangle a bulb. Give it up.” He belched loudly and went back into the garage.

You huffed and went back to your yard. You were going to make a better display, even if it was going to kill you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later, you dusted your hands on your pants and climbed down the ladder. You were beaming with pride at the beauty of the lights you hung. You stepped back to take it all in. A car horn honked behind you. It was another one of your neighbors, smiling and waving before giving you a thumbs up. You waved back, noticing Sanchez standing in the shadow of his garage with his arms crossed around his chest. You stuck your tongue out at him and got back to work.

The next day, as you were hanging some shimmering stars in your trees when you saw Sanchez out of the corner of your eye. He was on his roof, feeding what looked like real reindeer. _Son of a nutcracker_. A few cars slowed down and waved at him, kids smiling and laughing at the reindeer who were prancing about his roof. You narrowed your eyes at him as he gave you a thumbs up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything looked perfect as you arranged the final plate of cookies. Sure, you were exhausted, but soon there were cars stopping and pulling over to awe and ooo at the grand display in your yard. An entire replica of Santa’s workshop spread out tastefully across you yard. Every detail was perfect and handmade. You baked cookies and had hot chocolate to hand out to the visitors who stopped to praise you for your holiday spirit. Children ran around and giggled as Hodor chased them gleefully.

You were on top of the world! No one was even paying attention to – suddenly Sanchez’s garage opened and out stepped-

“MOTHER FUCKER!” you yelled, causing several of the parents around you to gasp. Rick was dressed as Santa himself and had elves, _actual fucking elves_ , dancing all around him.

“Ho ho ho…hoe…” he bellowed, the last word given with a nod your way. You snapped the plate of cookies you were holding. The kids and their families ran over to his yard, skipping around with the elves and hopping onto Sant- *ahem* _Sanchez’s_ lap. Hodor whined next to you.

“Oh shut up,” you huffed, stomping back into your house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Order! Order in the Court!” the judge yelled, smacking her gavel loudly as you and Sanchez screamed at each other. Your attorney pulled you to his other side, rolling his eyes at you.

“Counsel, tell your client that if he speaks out of turn again I will throw him out of my court,” the judge said to Sanchez’s attorney. Leaning back some to make eye contact with Rick, you stuck out your tongue which he returned with a similarly rude gesture that involved pretending something was being rammed down his throat.

“Now tell me again, what do you mean there were elves?” the judge asked you, raising her eyebrow.

“Yes, your honor. You see Mr. Sanchez somehow enslaved an entire race of small creatures from another dimension to serve his selfish purpose of cheaply attempting to outdo my beautiful yard display,” you began.

“Objec-uurp-tion your honor!” Sanchez yelled before his attorney smacked his arm and told him to sit down. “They are a sen-sentient species of goblin that happen to e-enjoy working for their overlord. They are kind, humble beings who w-wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Sanchez continued.

“Was this before, or after they started attacking the children, Mr. Sanchez?” The judge quipped, pointing to the pictures of bitten and crying children on the evidence stand.

You smirked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you both walked out of the courtroom, you turned your nose up in the air while he snorted at you.

“Gr-great. Now we’re banned from a-any sort of Christmas decorating. This -uurp- is all your fault.” He pointed a long finger at you.

“ME? You’re the one who started this entire thing!” Your hands were on your hips as you both bickered loudly. An officer finally stepped between you two and threw you both out onto the steps of the courthouse.

You both sat for a moment, slightly embarrassed. An idea suddenly popped into your head.

“I bet I can put on a better New Year’s firework display than you,” you challenged, glancing over at him. But he was already jogging down the steps.

“You w-wish you could put on half as g-good of a show as I will!” he yelled over his shoulder at you. You scampered down the steps after him, threatening him with arson.


	2. Pet Name Prompt

Prompt #2: Rick going through a list of pet names to call you  
“Hmm -uurp- how about, booger butt?” that earned Rick a slap on the chest. You both were stretched out on the couch watching Ball Fondlers, somewhat cuddling as Rick attempted to come up with a pet name for you. It was only somewhat cuddling because you kept trying to get up for some snacks, but Rick’s arms and legs were wrapped around you like a boa choking a mouse.  
“I am not going to be called booger butt,” you stated matter-of-factly. Rick chuckled against you.  
“Okay, f-fine, what about sexy face?”  
Sigh. “No Rick, that wasn’t even creative,” you rolled your eyes.  
“Nice tits?”  
“Rick!”  
“Alright, al-alright…oh! How about meat packer?”  
“You have got to be kidding me, Rick.”  
“Goddamn, y-you’re picky. Squishy pie?”  
“That sounds disgusting.”  
“Flower f-fart?”  
“I am not going to be called a fart in bed, Rick.”  
“Scary Mary?”  
You didn’t dignify that one with a response.  
“Pretty plumbus?”  
“Alright, now you’re just insulting me,” you started to get up, but he held you close to his chest.

“MÍ corazon?”  
You paused and turned yourself to face at him. He was looking down at you with serious and soft eyes. You smiled and lifted your face to kiss his lips.  
“That one’s perfect, papÍ.”  
fin.


	3. "Tell me a secret" Prompt

Prompt #3: Tell me a secret

Sighing softly, you whispered, “tell me a secret.” Rick was running his hand through your hair as you nuzzled close to him. You were both naked in your bed, still glowing in post sex bliss.

“I’ve n-never had gelato.” You started giggling uncontrollably.

“What kind of secret is that?” he was smiling down as you, still running his fingers through your hair. “Tell me a _real_ secret, Rick.” You kissed his neck and ran your hand up and down his chest. He was quiet for a moment.

“I’m-I’m scared of dying.” He said finally. You furrowed your brows and propped yourself up on your elbow.

“Rick, _pap_ _Í_ , everyone is afraid of dying. That uncertainty is what makes life worth living.” You brushed his hair softly from his face and smiled down at him. He was staring at the ceiling, a frown stretched on his face. “ _Pap_ _Í_?”

“I’ve died before, y-you know.” Your eyes grew wide as he continued.

“When I was y-younger, we were running from the Federation. I-I got hit. Everything went black. An-and it just stayed black. There was nothing. Nothing at all. They brought me back, b-but…” Your eyes started to well with tears as he spoke, his voice suddenly small. He sounded, almost scared. You put your hand on his cheek and turned him to face you.

“You’re here now.” You put his hand on your chest, over your heart. “We are both alive, living, breathing.” You then put your hand over his heart.

“Y-you’re right _m_ _Í corazon_.” He looked at you for a moment, and you saw a deep sadness in his eyes. And then it was gone, your Rick returning.

“And I want to s-spend it here in -uurp- bed fucking you over and over again.” He started kissing your neck, feeding his insatiable lust. You gave in, kissing him back, but you couldn’t get the look in his eyes out of your head.


	4. Cop Rick Prompt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Drunk sexual encounter, police officer taking advantage

Prompt #4:If you’re still doing DWC, can we get cop Rick “arresting” reader? I’m sorry to bother take care!

 

You were drunk. Veeery drunk. You had left the beach without your group since your head was pounding. The condo you were renting for spring break wasn’t too far away. You stumbled down the street, your short dress riding up too far past your ass with the top sagging much too low. You stopped to remove your heels when a police car turned down the street you were on. The bright headlights made you squint and lose balance, falling on your ass with your legs spread eagle.

The officer turned his lights on and pulled over to the curb you were struggling to stand up on. He stepped out of his patrol car, trying to suppress the smile that played at the corners of his mouth.

“Ma’am, a-are you in need of any assistance?” he asked you, clearly amused by your attempts to stand as you wobbled like a baby giraffe. You looked up at him and were shocked by how handsome he was. You expected another fat, leering officer like the one that had been roaming the beach. This officer was tall and limber, towering over you by at least a head. He had grey-blue hair that was a shocking contrast to his well-kept uniform.

“Nno, -ficer. I’m fine,” you waved him off, forcing yourself to sound sober. You thought you were doing a pretty decent job. He disagrred.

“H-how far is your place from here? I am about to get off my shift and could drop you off. Or I can call you a cab.” He reached out to grab your arm as you threatened to topple over again. “Woah, ma’am, how much have you had to drink?” his concerned eyes scanned you for any sign of injury. He smelt like mints and dark roast coffee. You smiled and sleepy placed your head on his chest as he stabilized you.

“Mmhm you smeeeell so nice, -hic- sssexy cop man,” you slurred at him. His body was so soft and warm.

“It’s Officer Sanchez, but thank you miss. Do you kn-know you’re address? It’s either that or I’m going to have to take you in to sober up. It isn’t safe for y-you to be wandering about in this state,” he guided you to his car for you to lean on instead of his chest. You dramatically slapped your hands on the roof of his cruiser and spread your legs obscenely far.

“Fr-friisk me officer -hic- sexyyy,” you purred, wiggling your ass for good measure. He looked you up and down, clearing his throat loudly.

“With all due respect, ma’am, yo-you could not possibly be hiding a weapon on your person when w-wearing such, uh, little clothing.” He rubbed his hand across the stubble on his face before asking you again were you were staying. You murmured out the address and moved out of the way while he opened his passenger door for you. “Alright, here you go,” he helped you settle into the seat and reached over to buckle you in.

“S-safety first -ficer, see? Alllll safe,” you starting to sing. He chuckled as he continued to strap you into the car. His neck was at the level of your mouth. You lazily looked at it and without thinking, you leaned over to kiss and nibble his jaw. “Ss-so handsome,” you then reached down and covered his groin with your hand, giving it a light squeeze. He snatched your wrist quickly and pulled away from you.

“Woah, ma’am, you need to keep your hands to yourself. That’s technically an assault on an officer. I don’t want to have to take you in,” even in your drunken state you knew jail would be bad. You started to sniffle.

“Miss, just-“ he tried to explain to you but you were wailing and sobbing loudly.

“Yy-ou think, you thought, I’m ugggly like, -hic- like Julie,” your mascara started running as you sobbed uncontrollably.

“W-who? What, no.” he opened his back door and grabbed you some tissues and a plastic bag. “I-if you think you are going to be sick, please use this.” You nodded, still sniffling, and took the bag and tissues. Officer Sanchez shut your door and walked around to get in the car. He picked up his radio and ran the code to dispatch.

“beep, boop beep, that’s, isn’t that a-a robot?” you asked, turning your head to face him. He laughed softly and buckled himself in before turning the car to head towards the address you gave him. You rested your head against the headrest and stared at him. He did his best to focus on the road, but he kept glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. “Le-let’s go, to on, on a date -ficer Dick,” you reached up to touch his hair. It looked so floofy you couldn’t help yourself.

“It’s Officer _Rick_ , and you aren’t going anywhere except home. I better not see you out here agai-what are you doing? No stop-!” You had quietly unbuckled yourself and reached over to unzip his pants. He jerked the car unintentionally as you reached for his cock. He then pulled over and slammed on his breaks, the force pushing your head further towards his lap.

“F-fine! Is this what you want?” he asked, pulling his half hard dick out of his pants. You nodded and smiled widely, licking your lips in a drunken display. “L-look at you, you’re practically begging for it. I do-don’t normally do this but, jeeesus, you’re hot,” you bent your head down and gave his tip soft kisses.

“Hotter th-than skank Julie?” you slurred, looking up at him.

“Wha-yeah, yes. Hotter than, uh, skank Julie,” he said, looking down at you. You slowly pushed your lips down around his length in appreciation. He bucked his hips and wrapped a hand in your hair. You lavishly began to suck and tease him, your hands reaching further into his pants to massage his balls. His large size wasn’t a problem for you. Being so drunk, your jaw and throat were naturally relaxed and loose. Your spit coated his dick as he moaned, forcing you to take him further as your head bobbed up and down. You pulled all the way up and wrapped your hand around his base, squeezing softly. You then focused on his swollen head, swirling your tongue around him. You tasted the saltiness of his pre-cum as he continued to urge you on. You then pushed him all the way into your mouth again, moaning in appreciation.

“F-fuck yes baby, suck my fat f-fucking cock,” he was starting to thrust harder and faster as you took him as far as you could. You began humming in the back of your throat, pushing him over the edge quicker than anticipated. He cussed as you felt his hot load coat the back of your throat. You greedily swallowed it all, milking him as much as you could. You sucked his full length as you brought your head up, cleaning him as you went. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand as you leaned back to look at him, smiling happily.

“You taste, mmm s-so good -ficer,” you said, realizing he had pulled over in front of your place. He smiled back at you and without warning, slapped his cuffs onto your wrists. “W-what the ff-fuck,” you began.

“Sorry ma’am, y-you’re under arrest. I have to take you upstairs and do a full cavity search,” he said, grinning. You smiled back, thrilled to have been arrested.

 


	5. Wii Tennis Prompt

@ricksanchezdwc: we got into a really heated wii tennis match at the rec center and now i wanna bang you

* * *

You were sweating profusely despite merely flinging the remote around in exaggerated motions. This had been going on for hours and was a battle of will at this point. Rick panted just as heavily next to you. He had discarded his lab coat and rolled up his sleeves to allow his skin to breathe. Why did you both accept the stupid tennis tournament challenge? You were both too stubborn to concede and now you were paying for it dearly. Sweat began to bead at his brow as he focused deeply on the screen in front of him. You turned your attention back as well and darted your arm out to save the small yellow ball, mentally kicking yourself for getting distracted. Unfortunately, you missed.

“Y-yeah mother-uurp-fucker!” Rick threw his hands up in the air. It was finally over. You hung your head in defeat. He got in your face and began a tirade of insults. “Take that biiiitch!”

“Whatever, Rick. You cheated.” You undid the wii remote from your wrist and went to grab your water bottle.

“W-what?! I won fair and square, sweetheart. Don’t be s-such a sore loser,” he plopped onto the chair next to you, exhausted and sweaty.

“At least I’m not old and out of shape,” you quipped, squirting your water bottle into your mouth. He reached out to pinch your ass in response.

“I c-could run circles -uurp- around you sweetheart,” you choked on the water as his fingers roughly squeezed the flesh of your ass. Without thinking, you turned your water bottle towards him and squeezed it hard, forcing a spray of water into Rick’s unsuspecting face.

“W-what the fuck!” he yelled, jumping to his feet. You started laughing uncontrollably but quickly ducked as a stream of water barely missed your mouth. Cackling maniacally, Rick chased you around the small TV room of the local rec center, trying to douse you in the freezing contents of his water bottle. You returned fire and dove behind the couch, peeking over it to see Rick locking the door and shutting the blinds to the room.

“Uh, Rick? What are you doing?” you laughed, eyeing your target suspiciously.

“I-I’m going to collect my prize,” he smirked at you, ducking to his left just in time to miss the stream from your bottle. You squealed in protest as he leapt over the couch and tackled you to the floor. After wrestling for a few minutes, the water bottles were emptied as you both soaked yourselves in laughter and water. You were straddling Rick when you tossed your empty water bottle aside, rolling on your heels to stand. Rick grabbed your thighs and pulled you back down on top of him.

“Y-you cold, sweetheart?” he mocked, reaching up to pinch one of your very erect nipples. Your shirt was completely soaked and clinging to your body while your thin bra molded to your breasts.

“It is a little chilly in here, why don’t you warm me up?” you challenged. Without having to be asked twice, Rick slid his longs fingers under your shirt and peeled the garment from your skin. You gasped as the cool material left your body exposed. He made quick work of your bra as well and sat up with you in his lap to such greedily at your nipples. They softened and hardened under his warm tongue over and over again. You moaned and ground yourself into his lap in appreciation.

He raked his fingernails gently down your back and slipped his hands into your pants to cup your ass. He squeezed them roughly and continued to work your pants down. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought his face up to kiss you. His lips were warm and soft as you peppered his mouth with soft nibbles. His wet body pressed into yours and you involuntarily arched away from him, your nipples growing hard again. He shifted his weight and suddenly spun you under him. While he made quick work of peeling his clothes off, you wrestled your wet pants down to your ankles and kicked them away.

“S-so eager to please the _champion_ , aren’t you baby?” he gripped his half-hard cock in his hand, coaxing it with quick motions.

“Don’t let it go to your head, Rick,” you teased, reaching your hand down to push your lips apart, spreading them so he could see his prize. He didn’t hesitate for a second.

Flipping you again to your stomach, he pushed your head down and raised your ass in the air before giving one cheek a hard bite. You whined in protest but spread your knees further. He ran his hand up and down your wet slit and pushed his fingers into you, pumping them slowly.

“F-fuck, baby,” he moaned, sliding them out and sucking them loudly.

“Please Rick, don’t make me wait,” you impatiently pushed yourself back on him, feeling his hard cock brush against you. He took himself in his hand and brushed his tip against your entrance, swirling it in the wet stickiness that leaked from you. You gasped and bucked your hips. He grinned cockily and finally slid into you, fulfilling your request.

You both moaned as he filled pushed in completely, his size stretching your walls. You always loved the feeling of having him deep inside of you. You contracted yourself around him to show your appreciation and his hands dug into your hips.

“Goddamn it, I-I fucking love how hard your pussy squeezes me. D-does that feel good, huh? You like having m-my cock in you?” he rocked his hips and reached around to grab a handful of your tits.

“Yes, I love it so much,” you moaned and rocked against him, feeling him glide across your g-spot with every thrust. You loved when he took you from behind, his hands were always grabby and eager. Soon his fingers prodded into your mouth. You sucked them and moaned, the warmth growing inside of your pussy. He removed them once satisfied with their wetness and reached down to rub your clit. You both groaned as you clenched involuntarily around him, the pace of his thrusts increasing. The obscene sound of your wet flesh slapping together filled the room.

Without much warning, your orgasm crashed over you. Your hips gyrated as you rode it out, screaming Rick’s name and squirting all over his cock and the floor. He pulled out and flipped you over while continuing to rub himself over you. Through half-lidded eyes you encouraged him on, telling him everything he wanted to hear.

“I love it when you make me your bitch, fuck me like a dirty whore. You’re a nasty old man, pumping your cock over me. You gonna cum? Shoot your load all over me,” His pumps got more erratic as you rubbed yours hands up his legs and squeezed his balls. Your finger darted up and massaged the place between his tight hole and balls, putting pressure on his prostate deep within him.

“Oh f-fuck yeah, goddamn it you f-filthy slut,” he came all over your chest and stomach, pushing every last spurt out of himself greedily. You reached up and smeared it over your tits, pinching your nipples and smirking up at him as he came. He collapsed on his hands and knees over you, panting and eyeing the mess he made.

“W-why is it that every time I win, you seem to win as-as well?” he licked a line up your neck and nibbled your ear.

You giggled and wondered too how you always got so lucky.


	6. Lap Cat Prompt

@ricksanchezdwc Rick won't move because there's a cat on his lap.

* * *

 

“Rick! _Pap_ _Í_! Move it or lose it, we are going to be late!” You dug around in your purse, looking for your lipstick as you stood impatiently by the door. A new Ball Fondlers movie had just come out in several dimensions and Rick had promised to take you for date night.

“I’m in the -uurp- garage!” you heard him yell back. Rolling your eyes, you walked down the hallway towards his voice. Opening the door, you saw him sitting at his work bench, immobile.

“ _Pap_ _Í_ , you know I hate missing the previews. I thought you were excited to see it,” you walked over to him to see what important device he was working on, but noticed nothing on the top of the work bench. He turned his head to look at you.

“W-we are going to have to catch the next showing,” he sighed, spinning his chair so you could see his lap.

And there lay what you knew was the most controlling deity in Rick’s life. A small, tabby kitten named Avo. It was short for Avogadro’s number, a name which you had conceded to in an attempt to get Rick to allow the small thing to stay.

The kitten had wandered into the garage one day, mewling and purring against Rick’s leg. He acted annoyed, but you had caught him petting the small ball of fur on multiple occasions. You left out bowls of food around the garage despite Rick acting annoyed. Once the kitten associated food and snuggles from the garage, he was back every day. Rick acted like it took a lot of convincing for “you” to keep it, but Rick chose the name and kept the kitten by his side constantly.

“Just move him, Rick. It’s date night, you promised me.” You pouted sadly and looked at him through your eyelashes. It had little effect on Rick who was distracted by the adorable stretching Avo did in his lab.

“ _Mi corazon_ , I can’t -uurp- just move him.” He stated it like it was an obvious principle of thermodynamics. You hung your head and sighed, realizing that the little kitten had stolen a part of the heart of the man you loved.

“I’ll go get my laptop and we can watch some old re-runs until he moves,” you set your purse down and leaned over to kiss Rick’s forehead. He titled his head back so that he could kiss you on the lips. It was sweet and lingering.

“D-don’t forget to bring some beer,” he smiled at you. You rubbed Avo’s head and walked to kitchen. You decided that, just this once, you didn’t mind sharing Rick with someone else.


	7. Apple Juice Prompt

rsdwc: “I lied - this is apple juice, not whisky. I’m trying to impress you, basically.”

* * *

 

You had your eye on him the whole night. Studied his movements, the way his body moved in rhythm with the loud music. You did not normally go to parties, but your roommate had dragged you out, blabbering on and on about an “authentic college experience.” It was just a stupid excuse, so she could make out with that asshole Brad from chemistry.

But then you had noticed him.

Tall and lanky, his frame did not take up much space. Regardless, Rick Sanchez demanded the presence of everyone in the room. He was a PhD student, one of the most brilliant at the university. You had heard all about him on campus, especially how _skilled_ he was with his tongue. You knew he only hung around undergraduate parties to get all the eager pussy he wanted. And yet, you still found yourself obsessively staring at him the whole night.

You left the main room to sneak into the kitchen when there was a lull of foot traffic. You rummaged through the fridge for something to drink besides alcohol. You promised your roommate to drive her home later. You found some apple juice and decided it would do. The absence of red cups prompted you to grab a short glass from a cabinet before heading back towards the thumping music.

You pouted when you noticed Rick’s absence from the room. He probably was off fucking some sorority girl. You decided to step out to smoke, leaning on the balcony and sipping your apple juice.

“I-I didn’t take you for a -uurp- whiskey girl. Then-then again, most girls aren’t.” You looked over in the shadows of the balcony and noticed Rick leaning back, eyes on you. He took one more drag from his cigarette before putting it out on the ledge and walking over to you.

“I, um, yeah, I just love it,” you hated how stupid you sounded but your knees were weak from him just speaking to you. He clearly knew the effect he had on women, his cocky smirk saying it all.

“Y-you’ve been staring at me all night, baby. When were you going to-to come say hello?” he leaned on the balcony next to you. He smelt like strong liquor and smoke. You blushed under his gaze and brushed your hair behind your ear.

“I didn’t think…I’m just not the type of girl you normally have draped over your arm.” He was leaning closer to you, and you were lost in his dark eyes. Your heart was racing, and your palms were sweating. Before thinking, you started stammering through words, trying to fill the space between you two with nervous conversation. “I…I lied - this is apple juice, not whisky. I’m - I’m trying to impress you, uh, basically.” Rick smirked and then laughed cruelly.

“I know, you -uurp- stupid freshman,” Rick leaned back and glanced with boredom at the party. “L-listen, you can either have the honor of sucking my cock or I’m-I’m going back inside,” you blinked at him and looked down at your drink. You were embarrassed and could feel tears prickle your eyes. His hand flew to your jaw and he gripped it tightly. “I-I like tears, they smear your mascara.”

It was then that you decided to drop to your knees

Later, after you choked on his dick while he rammed your face, you walked through the party trying to find your roommate. Your mascara dried in runny lines on your bruised cheeks. You wore it with pride.


	8. Rock God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this for @another-sanchez-slut's birthday over on tumblr! I was happy with how it came out so I thought I would give it to you all to enjoy as well <3

The mass of bodies made the air thick with sweat and booze. It was a full house tonight, not to anyone’s surprise. It was late at night, or maybe early in the morning. You had knocked back countless drinks and snorted so much Kalaxian Crystal it was hard to know.

You had heard of The Flesh Curtains before, they were notorious for their eccentric lead singer and devout groupies. You elbowed your way to the front, ears ringing from the electric guitar and deep vocals of Rick Sanchez. He leered down at crowd, pausing to stick his tongue between the V of his fingers before wailing another impossible note. The women and men around you were practically dry humping one another. The rhythm of the music was filthy and raw. It made your pussy ache.

The song came to an end as the crowd cheered. Rick turned around momentarily to take a swig from a large bottle of vodka. He was dripping in sweat, his hair pushed back from his face in long, soaking strands.

“H-how are you mother-uurp-fuckers feeling tonight?!” he screamed into the mic. The crowd went wild, pushing as a mass to be even closer to him. The stage wasn’t too incredibly tall. It was a small venue in a dive bar not too far off the main Andromeda loop. Despite their popularity, The Flesh Curtains preferred these seedy bars to actually decent stages.

“T-this one goes out to ev-everyone trying to get-get laid tonight,” he looked down at the women grasping for his legs in front of him, basking in their hungry wails like a newborn god. He suddenly made eye contact with you as the next song began. Squanchy timed in the beat and Rick winked at you, seductively swaying his hips. His crotch was practically in your face. He started the song slow, body gyrating with the rhythm.

He maintained eye contact with, huskily riding through the notes of the song. The women, and men, screamed around you, envious of the special attention you seemed to be getting. You decided to comply to the god’s demands. You leaned forward and parted your lips slowly, licking them so that they glimmered in the lights from the stage. Without missing a beat, Rick continued to sing and cocked his brow at you. You brought up your hand and placed two of your fingers in your mouth, rolling them around and sucking lightly before pulling them from your lips with an inaudible pop.

He knew _exactly_ what you wanted. He stepped close to the edge of the stage, kicking the mic so that it teetered on the edge. He allowed your hands to roam up his leather clad thighs. The people around you screamed in anticipation. You made quick work of his belt and fly, freeing his half-hard member from its constraints. As his voice soared with the music, staying impeccably on key, you took him all the way into your mouth. The crowd screamed and writhed together as he sang for them, your mouth working wonders on his thick cock. Despite how quickly he grew completely hard in your mouth, he stayed on pitch, bucking his hips a little when you hummed low in beat with the song.

He stood there, wailing like a rock god at the appeasement of the crowd while he fucked your mouth. You pushed yourself on your tiptoes, taking him further down your throat. The song was increasing in pace, the drums getting seemingly more aggressive. Rick paused for a guitar solo, his hips rocking into your eager mouth. You looked up to see him grinning down at you, eyes glistening in agonized lust. You reached your hand up to dip further into tight pants, seeking his balls. He bit his lip when you found them, forcing himself deeper into your mouth. You pulled back some, swirling your tongue around his tip. He was leaking already, clearly satisfied with the job you were doing.

You took his full length back into your throat as the guitar solo ended. You sucked furiously, flexing and relaxing your throat muscles around him as he threatened to choke you with his impressive girth. The song continued to climb in intensity, attempting to reach its climax as much as Rick was. He stayed true to the song, matching every rift and scale in perfect timing. You could feel he was close though.

Finally, as the song reached its climax, Rick wailed the final note, sending his hot load down your throat as he came. The crowd lost their shit, seemingly cumming with him as you milked every lost drop from his cock. The song slowed as it came to the end and Rick looked down to wink at you again as you kissed the head of his cock, tucking it back into his pants. You zipped him back up and buckled him with a satisfied grin, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and mouthing him a thank you.

He dropped to his knees, guitar in hand, and pulled you in by the jaw for a deep kiss. His tongue prodded into your mouth as you moaned against him. You barely heard him through the screams of the crowd as he pulled away to speak low in your ear.

“C-come backstage later, s-sweetheart, and I’ll return the favor,” he stood back up and grabbed the mic. “This chick ju-just gave me the best head of-of my fuckin’ life! Give it up!” the crowd screamed for you as much as it did him. It was your turn to wink at him as you motioned to the back of the stage with your head. You knew it would take a while to make your way over, so you started your pilgrimage to the rock god’s bed as another song began.


	9. Jealous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request: Could you possibly do a fluffy, possibly possessive Rick x femreader where he finally takes action once he notices that Jerry attempts to hit on her for a rebound? I mean, we all know that if Rick wants something there's no way in hell he'd ever let Jerry near it.

You knocked on the door of the Smith’s house huffing heavily. You lived directly behind their home and once again found an unknown substance oozing from their backyard into yours. Your dog had tried to eat it before you snatched him away. You couldn’t risk losing _another_ pet to your neighbors’…quirkiness.

You tapped your foot impatiently and leaned back to glance at the garage. The door was closed, which meant that Rick wasn’t home. Despite your feigned disdain at constantly being hit on by him, you enjoyed being in his presence. Sometimes, he would let you hang around his garage as he tinkered on things when Morty and Summer were at school. He would shamelessly flirt and make overtly sexual comments, but he never acted on them or asked you out. Occasionally, he would lean over you to “grab” an item from the shelf, brushing up against your body, but often the thing he grabbed would sit unused on the workbench later.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Jerry Smith opening the door. He had a solemn look on his face, but he smiled widely when he saw you.

“Why, what a surprise!” he beamed at you.

“Uh, hi Jerry. Is Beth or Morty home?” you asked, not wanting to meet his gaze. Everyone knew Beth and Jerry had separated. The screaming match they had in the front yard a few weeks back could be heard blocks away. He came and went to the home occasionally to see Morty and Summer or grab some other items.

“No, they are out right now. Come in!” he ushered you inside despite your protests and offered you a seat on the couch. You politely complied but denied his offers to get you a drink.

“Really, I’m fine. There is just something oozing in my backyard again and I was hoping Beth or Morty could talk to Rick about it. It’s hard to catch him here at your home,” you paused after realizing it wasn’t really _his_ home anymore, but he didn’t seem to notice.  

“Oh, you know Rick. Always running around on some _adventure_ ,” he mocked, shifting a little closer to you on the couch. You raised your eyebrow at him.

“Yeah. Well anyway if you could just pass along the message,” you began, starting to stand to leave.

“Wait!” Jerry suddenly looked nervous. “You’re, uh, single, right?” he asked, trying his best to portray a smooth demeanor. _Oh please god no_.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” you said cautiously.

“Well, I mean, you’re…attractive,” he stammered. _Kill me now_. “Would you, I don’t know, maybe be interested in, uh, having…dinner?”

Before you could gently let him down, a large belch came behind you.

“Sh-she’s not interested, _Jerry_ ,” Rick strolled into the room, his eyes narrowing at Jerry’s proximity to you.

“Rick! What are you doing here?” Jerry shot him a similar icy glare.

“I -uurp- live here. Unlike certain people,” red flooded Jerry’s face as he stood to argue with Rick. You stood faster.

“Rick, please fix the blue shit oozing into my yard,” you said quickly, heading towards the door. He suddenly wrapped his long fingers around your arm and steered you instead to the garage.

“I-I need to talk to you,” his voice was low and angry. You shot a glance at Jerry who looked weepier than ever as he watched the two of you disappear around the corner.

Rick shoved you into the garage and slammed the door behind him.

“Hey! What gives?” you turned to yell at him for the rough way he had grabbed you but were taken aback by the look on his face.

“W-what were you going to say to Jerry,” he demanded. His voice was dangerous and tinged with something else you couldn’t quite place. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not answering that question. Just fix that shit leaking into my –“ Rick closed the distance between the two of you in a few short strides and crushed his lips into yours. You blinked a few times, trying to register what was happening. Soon you relaxed under his kiss and moved your body to press closer to his. He wrapped one arm around your waist and tangled the other one in your hair, angling your head so that he had better access to your mouth. His lips were passionate and warm, and you found yourself kissing him back with a matching vigor. After a while he pulled back to looked at you.

“Do you, uh, w-want to have dinner w-with me?” he asked you quickly, clearly a little out of his element. You smiled and pulled him back in to kiss you.

“I thought you’d never ask,” you breathed between kisses.


	10. Unibrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: idk why this scenario has plagued my mind for the past few days but how do you think rick would react if, after some petty argument, reader shaves rick's unibrow in his sleep to make it two eyebrows? idk why i think he's stubborn and almost proud of his unibrow??? i feel like he'd get so defensive and unexpectedly emotional about this lmao

Rick Sanchez was an asshole. It wasn’t that you were surprised when he made an especially rude comment about you, but for some reason it was the straw the broke the camel’s back. You snapped and screamed at him, fists beating into his chest. He screamed back, speckles of his spit flying all over your face. Angry tears raced down your face and you promised yourself you were done. Finished. Over him.

And yet, as you lay in bed that night your anger would not recede. It still swirled and rang in your ears like an angry beast. Your heartrate seemingly increased with each breath.

That was when you decided to do the unthinkable.

You crept into Rick’s room and found him passed out on his bed. Any time the two of you fought he always drank himself into a stupor. You poked him carefully to test the deepness of his sleep. A few pokes and slaps later, you rolled him from his stomach to his side and committed the most atrocious of sins.

You slept soundly the rest of the night. Peacefully even. The slam of your door being broken open startled you from your sleep in the morning.

“Who, wha?” you sleepily looked around the room until you saw Rick. He was as red as a tomato, shaking in rage.

“Y-you fu-fucking CUNT!” he screamed. As you vision cleared you looked up to see Rick and his two nicely separated and shaped eyebrows. You were quite proud of your work. They were perfectly tweezed and shaped to make the most attentive makeup artist envious. His brows looked better than a YouTube tutorial goddess’.

“What’s wrong, Rick?” you feigned confusion, cocking your head to the side. He was shaking with anger and kept opening and then closing his mouth.

“Why. Are. There. Two.” He growled through clenched teeth.

“Oh! You mean your eyebrows.” You slapped your palm to your forehead in mock realization. “Well _darling_ , you said you would have two eyebrows before you ever said you loved me.” Spit was dripping from his foaming mouth. “So, do you have anything to tell me?” you asked cruelly, smiling as maliciously as you could.

 


	11. Coffee Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ricksanchezdwc: There’s only one plug in this entire coffee shop and you’re sitting right in front of it. You’re not using it, and my laptop is about to die in the middle of this online exam, so I don’t care how intimidating or attractive you are I’m sitting down at your table to plug in my shit.

You arrived at the quiet, cozy coffee shop twenty minutes early. It was much more packed than usual much to your annoyance. You took the last table and setting up your laptop and notebook. With a sudden leap of you heart you realized there was no outlet for your charger. _Fuck_.

You walked up to the counter to order a drink and get the Wi-Fi password. You asked if they had an extension cord, to which the barista politely said no. You huffed back down to your table and double checked your battery life.

**_3 hours remaining, 95%_ **

You could definitely finish the exam before then. You would have just done it at home, but your router decided to crap out the night before, of course. Nothing ever went smoothly during finals week.

You cracked your neck and pulled open the browser, logging in to the exam software. You still had ten minutes until it opened, so you took the time to glance around the coffee shop.

It was old Victorian themed. You had ordered something called the “Lavender Lady” which tasted deliciously like white chocolate and lavender. There were old photographs and book pages tastefully arranged around the walls. You noticed a couple that were clearly on a first date. The taller guy looked like a nervous rabbit while the younger one attempted to slow his speech as words came tumbling out at a mile a minute.

An older woman sat at a corner table, listening to an old Walkman and knitting an impressive looking scarf. The last table’s occupant made your heart flutter momentarily. A lanky, angular man sat crouched down, looking almost comically too tall to be sitting at such a small table. His knees came almost up to the table top, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was tinkering on some sort of device that had a tube of green fluid swirling at the top. He was wearing a lab coat and had eccentric gray-blue hair that stuck up in various directions. He was very handsome for an older man and you realized he was probably a professor at the local university. You were a graduate student and often unfamiliar with the undergraduate professors.

He must have felt you staring at him because his gaze slowly lifted to meet yours. You offered a polite smile, at which he frowned, glancing back down to his work. You pouted in embarrassment and looked back down to your screen. You stretched your fingers and cracked your neck before hitting _begin_ and clacking away.

The prompt was simple, covering the philosophical differences between Aristotle’s _Organon_ and Plato’s _Republic_. You began outlining, structuring the essay and weaving in the topic sentences like it was muscle memory. Well, it practically _was_ at this point. Suddenly, a prompt interrupted your screen.

_**Please Charge, 12% remaining** _

 “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” your heart started to race as the young couple glanced back at your remark. “Is there an outlet at your table?” you asked them quickly. They glanced around and shook their heads.

You spun around to look at the woman in the corner, desperate to see an outlet. There was nothing. You panicked and darted your eyes around the room glancing at the table near the front window. Just behind the bottom of his lab coat, you noticed a plug at his seat. As if reading your mind, he spoke across the room without looking up.

“I-I’m not moving, s-sweetheart,” he belched at you. Adrenaline set in as a new prompt mocked you on your laptop screen.

_**Please Charge, 4% remaining** _

You let a shrill noise and gathered your things before marching over the table where the rude man was sitting.

“There’s only one plug in this entire coffee shop and you’re sitting right in front of it.” You set your laptop down and informed him. “You’re not using it, and my laptop is about to die in the middle of this online exam, so I don’t care how intimidating or attractive you are I’m sitting down at your table to plug in my shit.” With that you dumped the rest of your stuff on the floor, aggressively shoved the plug in the socket, and sighed in relief as the green light indicated charging. You felt like Gatsby revering that little green light.

You ignored the glares from him and the close proximity the angle of the plug forced you to sit at. You typed away, making up for precious lost time.

“Wr-wrong.” He suddenly said. You snapped your head to the side to glare at him. But he wasn’t looking at you, still fixated on his device. You must have imagined him saying something, but the scent of boozy breath hung between the two of you. You sure as hell weren’t drinking at 9:00 am.

You decided to ignore him again and continue to work away, racing against the clock.

“In-incorrect,” he belched at you. You looked over the laptop screen into the distance and took a calming breath.

“Excuse me?” you asked, shifting to face him. He rolled his eyes at you and leaned over, snatching your laptop and working away. “Woah, buddy! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” you went to grab it back but happened to glance at the paragraph he was madly typing. You froze. Then you sat there for the next ten minutes, mouth agape as you watched him delve into the most beautiful analysis you had ever read. His chin was covered in drool, but you didn’t even mind as you leaned in, enraptured by the beautiful words on your screen. He suddenly hit “submit”, confirmed it, and stood up.

“Y-you’re welcome,” he said, grabbing his device and shifting around you to leave.

“Wait! That was, oh my goodness, who-who are you?” you stammered, staring at your screen in disbelief.

He turned back to lean down and whisper in your ear.

“I’ll -uurp- be back at y-your apartment for a _thank you_ later,” his voice sent chills down your spine.

When you got home that night, sure enough, the lanky man from the coffee shop was flipping through the channels on your television, drinking straight from your expensive whiskey bottle. He fucked your brains out on the couch and left without so much as a goodbye.

But you knew the second you got your score back a week later (an A with high praise from your teacher) that he would be back for further praise.


	12. TV Drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For DWC: Rick coming into the living room and finding his girlfriend sobbing to a romantic drama on TV (and being absolutely impossible to comfort)?

Your upper lip trembled as you clutched a handful of soggy tissues to your chest. Your face was stained with tears as you coughed out another sob.

“Ricardo, nooooo,” you wailed, eyes glued to the scene in front of you. You were crying more than the actress staring back at you, or, rather, at Ricardo.

“H-hey -uurp- babe, you up for a couple rounds of –“ Rick froze when he saw you sitting on his couch, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets, snot and tears streaming down your face.

“He’s _leaving_ her,” you choked out, glancing over at him as fresh tears welled at your eyes and spilled over.

“Oh jeeesus, wh-why do you watch these? Y-you always get so,” he motioned at your current state and you started crying harder. “Oh f-fucking hell,” he wrapped you in his long arms and plopped himself onto the couch, pulling you close.

“It’s-it’s a movie babe,” he said, annoyance clear in his tone.

“Ri-rick,” you sniffled up a large stream of snot, “they are _meant_ for each other. Maria’s father, he, he just won’t let them _be_ together,” you blew your nose loudly to which Rick protested in disgust.

“You’re -uurp- ridiculous,” he huffed, hand reaching for the remote. You spun your body so that you were straddling him, both hands gripping the collar of his jab coat. He looked momentarily shocked and terrified at your swell of strength.

“Don’t. Even. Think about it.” You growled at him. He blinked a few times with wide eyes and then allowed you to snuggle back down on his chest, resuming your weeping, kitten-like state. He stayed like that until the end of the movie. You could have sworn you heard him sniffle at one point.


	13. Uncontrollable Orgasms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DWC: So, about those, things you were asked to hold...

You moaned as another orgasm rocked your body, causing your exhausted pussy to clamp down once again. You fought to catch your breath and looked up at Rick who was gazing down at you with amazement, arousal, and intrigue.

“S-so, uh, about th-those things you -uurp- were asked to hold…they cause uncontrollable female orgasms for…” he paused as another orgasm crested and broke, your hips bucking into the air as a crude moan ripped from your lips. “…a few hours. I-I got them confused with…”

“Rick,” you interrupted, voice husky, “just get my clothes off and put me on the bed,” you moaned, back arching again as your sensitive clit hummed with pleasure.

“Je-jeeesus, you never cum this much for me,” Rick looked disappointed as he took your shirt and pants off.

“Seriously, uhh, oh god, ahhh!” You came again, gyrating in his arms as he moved you to the bed. You breathed deeply as you came back down. “Seriously, Rick? Now is _not_ the time.” He still looked envious and jealous as your flushed body started to squirm again.


	14. The Collector

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a DWC prompt, just some therapeutic writing. Heed the warning please! 
> 
> Warning: Murder, psychopathic behavior, emotionally detached reader, hate fuck

It wasn’t the pain that hurt the most. It was the absence. The echoing of a void deep in your consciousness that longed to be filled. You couldn’t stomach the disappoint of feeling insufficient. So, you did what you could to fill the uncomfortable omission threatening to swallow you whole.

That’s how you found yourself, once again, in a dive bar far from any system you recognized. It was how you found yourself luring a wanted murderer into the bathroom, enticing him with your hips and eyes.

As you crushed his windpipe under your hands in one of the stalls, you pondered the sensation of that void beginning to fill. The empty chasm no longer taunted you with its vacancy and demonic tension.

But the feeling never lasted. By the time you collected the bounty you were empty again, the momentary fullness having leaked away. You never knew where it went.

When you received another request for a hit you were surprised that it was at the Citadel. Few outsiders had the expertise or knowledge to get in. One mistake could land you in their fucked-up version of prison or peacefully floating with glazed eyes in the body-filled space around the giant ship.

You snuck in the same way you had before. After a few turned cheeks for the right price and a transporter Rick’s dick sucked to his liking, you were in the Citadel within a day. You weaved through the back alleys that night, smoothly riding the shadows of the tall buildings. It was your dream to explore the beautiful cityscape without the cover of darkness, but you knew that was unrealistic.

The void hummed as you scaled the tall high-rise: the eagerness before a kill was like chasing an orgasm. You needed it to make the daunting ache cease.

Just like any other hit, you didn’t know who had hired you. Middle-men were a normalcy to keep the interested parties in a shroud of discrepancy. You never cared anyway. Everyone you took down deserved it one way or another. But considering the recent political shifts on the Citadel…you were rather sure you knew who was footing your bill.

The lofty apartment was decorated in a disgustingly gaudy array. You slid through a barely cracked window and silently weaved through the rooms. You finally came across him sitting in front of an ornate fireplace, nestled in an oversized plush chair. You knew he hadn’t noticed you, no one ever did. Creeping along the large shadows cast by the fire, you felt the chasm quickly filling. The feeling made you want to sigh and sleep. To be comfortable and at peace if even for just a moment. But you had a job to finish.

“J-just get on with it -uurp- already, _jeeesus_.” His voice came from the front of the chair you sat crouched behind. He had nowhere to run, even if he tried, so you stepped into the light of the warm fire and regarded the man sitting before you.

He wore glasses that perched on the end of his long nose. He looked content and handsome, sipping from a glass of whiskey. The surge filling your emptiness suddenly paused as you drank in his sight. He slowly removed his glasses and closed the book he was reading, setting them both gently on the table next to him. His lanky frame looked comfortable as he leaned further back in the oversized chair, glancing you up and down.

“W-whatcha staring at, b-babe?” he inquired, raising his unibrow at you. “Would you -uurp- like to sit on my lap be-before you kill me?” he was mocking you, but you were patient. He didn’t wear the mask of terror that your victims normally did. There was no stench of fear or desperation that normally came off them. No begging or pleas for mercy. No.

He was flirting with you.

He gestured to his lap which, despite your better judgement, looked very inviting.

“I-I have heard all about you, sweetheart,” his eyes continued to eye-fuck your body as he leered. “Who do-do you think hired you?”

“You hired me to kill you? I expect no less of an obnoxious suicide from a Rick.” You played his game and curled your tongue around the word as it left your mouth, watching his pants tighten against him. He chuckled condescendingly.

“No. I-I hired you to fuck me.” He flung the word at you and the chasm within you suddenly exploded with substance.

“I’m not a whore.” You stated simply.

“E-everyone has a price -uurp- sw-sweetheart. They call me the Collector.” He picked up his glass and swirled the contents before knocking it back.

“Am I supposed to ask why?” he froze and looked at you, eyes narrowing.

“Y-you’re a mouthy little cunt, aren’t you? You should be fucking honored,” he leaned forward menacingly in his chair before continuing. “I collect rare items. People. Experiences. Blackmail. Anything to keep me satisfied.” You considered him for a moment before moving forward and straddling his lap. He leaned back and smirked in satisfaction, hands resting on your hips.

“And fucking an assassin was next on your collectors list?” you inquired, running your hands up his angular chest.

“S-something like that,” he breathed, moving his hands down to grab your ass. The void was overflowing as arousal pooled between your legs. “Any weapons I need to remove?” he asked huskily, leaning in your kiss you. You put a finger to his lips.

“I want double.” You stated, rolling your hips for good measure. He barked a laugh and wound his hand into your hair.

“B-baby, I’ll give you triple.”

Your mouth crashed into his as he snaked his hands up your back. You sucked and teased his lips, unbuttoning his shirt to expose his chest. You ran your hand through the small tuft of grey-blue chest hair on his sternum and dry-humped him. He pulled your shirt off and made quick work of your bra before cupping both breasts in his hands.

“F-fucking perfect,” he moaned, clamping his teeth down on one of your nipples. You arched in response, pain mingling with the pleasure between your legs. He sucked greedily at your breasts and ground his erection into you, making you squirm. Your hands reached down to unzip his pants and free his cock. He was more than ready, precum pooling at his head.

You stepped away momentarily, making a show of slowly peeling your pants down your legs. He grasped his hard cock and pumped it quickly, swirling his thumb around the fat head as he smirked at you. You flung your thong at him which he caught easily with one hand. He pushed the thin, soaked fabric between his lips as you straddled him again. You rubbed your slickness over him and moaned, leaning in to kiss him. Your tongue met the wetness of your panties mixed with the taste of whiskey as you pulled the panties from his mouth with your teeth.

“F-fucking slut, aren’t you? I-I bet you love the taste of your own cunt,” he moaned as you ground against him again and tossed the panties aside. You leaned in and whispered in his ear.

“Every time I touch myself,” you grabbed his cock and slowly slid down on him, “I suck my fingers clean afterwards,” you raised up a little, “licking off every. Last. Drop.” Each punctuated word had you ramming yourself fully down on his impressive length. He wrapped his hand around your neck and growled.

“Jeeesus, f-fuck, filthy slut,” he pounded into you, meeting every movement of your hips. The obscene sound of your skin meeting filled the room along with the crackle of the fire. The void inside of you was forgotten as you let him fill you up. You took his free hand, sucking two of the fingers before guiding it to the back of your ass. He chuckled and took the hint, prodding your puckered hole with first one, and then two fingers.

Your pussy began to clamp down on him as you moaned loudly, the feeling of every orifice being filled sending pleasure to your core. He moved his hand from your throat and shoved three fingers inside your mouth, completing your need. You sucked and moaned, gagging slightly as he forced them further and further.

“L-look how eager you are. Fuuuuck. Y-yeah baby, take all of-of it,” he pumped faster into you, nearing his orgasm as well. You leaned forward some so that his pelvis brushed your clit with every movement. You began to tremble as the warmth of your orgasm threatened to explode. The over-stimulation of everything as once felt amazing. You were so full you could barely handle it. Tears streamed down your face and then, without warning, you were cumming.

You screamed against his fingers and pulsed around his cock, your thighs trembling as spit dripped onto your tits. He came during your orgasm, the contraction of your inner walls sending him over the edge. He removed his fingers from you and cursed as he spilled himself inside of you, the sticky liquid overflowing you and running down his cock. You collapsed against his chest and continued to let the tears silently fall as you regained your breath. You couldn’t feel anything except him inside of you and the warmth of his chest with the fire at your back. It was then that you realized the void was gone. Not filled, not empty. But gone.

You leaned back and removed him from you with a shudder. Gathering your clothing, you glanced at him looking satisfied in the chair, not bothering to move or clean himself.

“H-how about we make this a-a weekly thing, b-baby,” he eyed his cum dripping down your leg as you put your pants on. You straightened up and pulled your shirt over your chest in enough time to dodge his blast of a gun he had pulled from beneath the chair. You twisted the pathetic thing quickly from his hand, the loud clatter of the metal echoing in the room as it hit the floor.

As you choked him to death, he clawed and grasped at your arms. His nails would leave marks, but you found such injuries healed quickly. You knew he had lied about hiring you, Rick’s were not always as smart as they thought they were. But that fuck was something you had needed more than air.

Leaving his partially nude corpse in the chair, you quietly walked to the window in which you came and looked out over the citadel. You could not help but smile as you felt the light breeze weave through the buildings and brush your face.

You were free.


	15. Sandwich

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DWC Prompt: sandwich. Rick asks for a bite but his bite is too damn big and leaves less than half for reader

“Papí, are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?” you yelled from the kitchen. You had just hauled everything out to make a sandwich before you and Rick started movie night. He had insisted that he wasn’t hungry, but you knew better.

“J-just alcohol for me,” he belched back. You pursed your lips and considered just making him one anyway. Laziness got the better of you and you assembled a single sandwich before grabbing a beer and heading to the living room. Rick was sprawled in a tangle of angles and limbs on the couch.

“Scooch,” you shooed him, trying to find a comfortable spot to sit. He grumbled and shifted some so that you could nest yourself in the gap between his stretched-out legs.

“Y-you ready yet?” he scowled at you. Always the saint of patience. You glared back and set your drink and sandwich down on the table.

“Actually, I need to pee,” you stood and sauntered slowly to the bathroom. Rick groaned and threw his head back over the arm of the couch, his temper tantrum building. “Chill, Rick,” you yelled from the bathroom.

You took your time, flipping through a magazine until you were sure your bladder was empty. Contemplating the new hand soap you bought, you lathered and washed your hands with surgical precision, making sure to clean under each and every fingernail. You heard Rick punctuate the air with another annoyed groan.

“Hurry the -uurp- fuck up!” his tone hinted that he wasn’t playing around. You checked your reflection and eyed a zit forming on your chin. You inspected it carefully and decided to leave it for now. You took your hair out of its ponytail and ran your fingers through your hair, shaking it out. You then gathered it back up in the same spot and rewound the elastic into place. Bending over, you decided it was a good time for some back stretches. You reached your hands over your head and bent low to your feet, feeling each vertebrae loosen with the movement. After checking the zit on your chin one last time you headed back to the living room.

“Papí, look at this nasty zit form-“ you froze when you saw him intently focusing on the television, refusing to look your way. A stray crumb clung to his chin.

Your eyes darted down to where you had stupidly left your sandwich.

The top slice of bread had been carelessly left unaligned with the bottom one. A giant bite had been taken from the middle, leaving you essentially the edges of the crust and few of the inside contents. Your beer bottle lay empty on its side, still gently rolling like it had been hastily set down.

Mouth agape, you looked up at Rick who belched exceptionally loud and grinned.

“¿Qué pasa, mi corazón?” he asked innocently.

After some punches and “unfair” biting, Rick begrudgingly left to get the both of you some pizza. Movie night always ended up starting later than planned.


	16. Jerry Daycare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DWC Prompt: Jerry Daycare

“You wouldn’t _fucking dare_ ,” you hissed dangerously, crossing your arms over your chest in a display of challenge. Rick was in your face, drool dripping from his chin and his eyes wild in rage. He laughed cruelly in your face before swiftly knocking your legs out from under you and tossing you over his shoulder.

“RICK! Rick _fucking_ Sanchez put me down or I swear to god,” you kicked and screamed, writhing and howling like a wild animal. He pulled out his portal gun and shot at the wall before walking the two of you through it.

“I -uurp- am a god your stupid - _ouch-_ bitch!” you were attempting to gnaw on his shoulder like a rabid wolverine, but he tossed you down onto the floor of wherever he had portaled you to.

“You need to sign her in!” an alien yelled as Rick belched and reopened the portal. He ignored the creature flailing a clipboard at him and glanced over his shoulder at you.

“I-I’ll pick you up in a few hours. We will – you’ll be begging for this cock when I get back,” and with a smirk he left. You stood and nearly smacked into a wide female alien who was dressed like a nurse.

“Why, aren’t you just precious!” she pinched your cheek and grinned. “The Jerry’s will absolutely love having a visitor!”

With a yell you attempted to claw your way out, but they were quicker. You cursed and screamed Rick’s name as they dragged you towards the main playroom of Jerry Daycare. You would have preferred the seventh level of hell.


	17. Buenas Noches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DWC Prompt: You aren’t saying it right, it’s pronounced buenas noches.

You giggled and nearly split your drink all over yourself. Again. The Rick by your side was more than patient, grabbing the glass before it tipped into your lap. You pursed your lips and tried again, but Rick just chuckled and shook his head. If he was as drunk as you were, he didn’t show it.

“You aren’t saying it right, it’s pronounced _buenas noches_ ,” he purred in your ear. You were painfully aroused as he pushed you to try and say it again.

“ _Buenaas nochees_ ,” you slurred, emphasizing the vowels with another giggle and sway.

“Y-you’re hopeless, _cariño_ ,” he took another gulp of his drink and eyed you hungrily. You leaned over and palmed him over his tight pants, causing him to nearly choke on his drink.

“ _Tu peux me prendre dans tous les sens_ ,” you breathed huskily in his ear, the perfect French rolling off your tongue.

Without another word, he took you behind the building and roughly fucked you against the wall.

You never got the chance to tell him just how many languages you were fluent in…


	18. A Dream I Dreamed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a dream last night that I thought I would share with you all...enjoy!

You had only been seeing Rick Sanchez for a few weeks. The giddiness of a new relationship was always fresh and exciting. You couldn’t seem to keep your hands off each other, so when he slyly asked if you wanted to go makeout in his ship you happily agreed.

He had flown the two of you to an empty field on the outskirts of town. Bored cows barely acknowledged your presence as the ship landed in the middle of their grazing. No sooner had he landed the ship, you straddled him in his chair and covered his mouth with yours. He moaned and gripped your ass roughly with both hands, pushing up the hem of your dress to your waist. You eagerly pressed into him, your breasts rubbing against his chest.

You loved how he tasted. A mix of booze and musk, his kisses always left you light headed and _very_ aroused. His tongue ran along your lips before dipping into your mouth. You granted him access and let him devour you whole. He sucked on your tongue in a way that made you grind down on him even more. Pulling back occasionally for air, he would always move to your neck to bite and suck the tender flesh around your collarbone. When he discovered how much biting your earlobe made your hips buck, he paid extra attention there while raking his hands down your back.

“F-fuck baby, if you keep grinding me like that, I, uh – you’re gonna owe me s-some new pants,” you sat up straight from your hunched position where you had been sucking hickies into his neck. You didn’t realize he had partially leaned his chair back so that it was angled for him to lay comfortably under you. The position of his body made it look like he was star gazing through the glass above. His suggestive smile and straining erection suddenly gave you an idea.

“Do you have any lube?” you asked, running your hands along his chest.

“Of - _uurp_ \- course I do,” he reached over you body to the console of the ship and produced a small bottle. “I, uh, didn’t bring an-any condoms, I didn’t think – know you’d want to so quick,” you snatched the bottle from him and dismounted his lap.

“You’re not getting this pussy so quick, Sanchez,” you winked at him before opening the door and sliding out. He started to move to follow you, a confused look on his face. You wagged your finger at him.

“Uh uh, stay right where you are. Don’t move from your seat.” He smirked and leaned back, obviously still confused but definitely intrigued. He watched with increasing hunger as you slid your panties down your legs and tossed them aside. When he started to laugh, and you turned to where you had thrown your panties to see an intrigued cow giving them a sniff. It chose the grass instead and Rick started to laugh even harder.

“Don’t - _uurp_ \- worry baby, I’m sure you are – taste amazing,” he stopped his laughter when you shot him a glare. You did a few quick stretches, suddenly thankful for those gymnastic classes you did in high school. You started to climb the ship, and Rick sat up to protest. You shot him a glare that told him to lay back down and be patient. He begrudgingly agreed.

Hoisting yourself on the lip of the front of the ship, you carefully worked your way up the windshield. You uncapped the bottle of lube and squeezed a generous amount onto the windshield directly above Rick’s head below. Realization dawned on Rick’s face as his mouth dropped open. You lowered your bare pussy onto the cool liquid, spreading yourself into a deep split.

Then you started to grind.

You had no idea what it looked like below, but Rick’s expression was priceless. His mouth opened and closed, and he bit his lip as you moved your hips in small figure eights. You could hear him moan as you rubbed yourself over the windshield, the curved angle of the glass making it possible to create some much-needed friction against your clit. You lifted yourself some and reached a hand down to spread your lips fully, allowing your swollen clit to make direct contact with the glass. You looked down to smirk, and noticed Rick rubbing himself through his pants.

Satisfied with the effect you were having on him, you closed your eyes and moaned are you thrusted your hips. Sliding your slick pussy back and forth, you tightened your abs with each roll of your hips. The coolness of the glass and the warmth of the lube felt amazing, and it wasn’t long before you were chasing an orgasm. You whined and rubbed yourself faster, knowing Rick had an impressive show of your pussy starting to clench and spasm. You felt your wetness drip down between the crack of your ass, a mixture of lube and arousal coating the windshield.

Reaching up to pinch your breast, you looked down again at Rick whose eyes were still wide in amazement. You picked up the pace, thighs clenching as you felt your orgasm begin to peak. You were so close, just a few more thrusts and –

“ _Hey_! What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” an angry voice stopped your orgasm in its tracks as you whipped your head around to see a _very_ shocked and angry farmer. You slid down the windshield and decided your panties were a lost cause.

“Go, go, go!” you yelled at Rick as you frantically threw yourself into the ship. He was laughing his ass off, tears building at the corners of his eyes.

“H-holy shit, do yo-you see his face?” he pointed at the angry man who held a shotgun and was waving his arms around.

“Rick! GO!” you yelled at him, trying to control your laughter as well. Rick turned on the ship and shot into the sky, nearly knocking you out of your seat with the sudden momentum. The wetness from your pussy mixed with the lube made it difficult to see anything out of the windshield. Rick attempted to use his windshield wipers, but they smeared everything into an even bigger mess. The both of you laughed even harder as the cloudy mess, adrenaline and arousal still pumping through your veins. Thankfully, Rick found another field rather quickly and the two of you greedily picked up where you had left off.


	19. Tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Please stop petting the test subjects.”

“Miss, please stop petting the test subjects,” the stern voice of the tour guide startled you, causing you to nearly break your wrist between the bars of the of the cage holding the adorable fuzzy creature before you. The fuzzball suddenly opened a second mouth, the one not devouring a candy bar, and growled at you. You rubbed your sore wrist and blushed.

The tour guide ushered everyone to the next room of the alien candy factory, keeping a side eye on you.

“I-I can’t take you - _uurp_ \- anywhere, can I?” Rick mockingly frowned at you and shook his head in disapproval.

“I still want my $20, Rick,” you grumbled, outstretching your hand for him to pay up.

“Th-the deal was to _not_ get caught, sweetheart,” he batted your hand away and took a swig from his flask.

“I’m not the one who wanted to see how Yummy' Yums were made,” you huffed, crossing your arms tightly over your chest. Rick smirked and pinched your ass before moving along with the rest of the tour group. The voice of the tour guide drew your attention forward before you could yell at him.

“And _now_ , we will see how the purgenol-free bars are made!”


	20. Doggo Rick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “i promise i’m not hitting on you but you smell really good”

“I promise I’m not hitting on you, but you smell really good.” 

With a confused look on your face, you glanced around to find the voice that was speaking to you.

“O-over here!” a rough voice barked. You spun in your chair to see a lanky and scraggily Irish wolfhound wagging its tail and drooling at you.

“Um, did you just talk?” you arched your eyebrow and eyed the massive beast sticking its head between the bars of the café patio.

“Y-yeah no shit, toss me some of your bacon.” The dog was drooling even more as he stared at your plate and then back at you. You looked around to see if the people around you noticed the talking dog, but everyone seemed too busy in their brunch conversations to give the spectacle much notice.

“Y-you’re taking too long,” the dog huffed. It pulled its head back through the bars and in one graceful leap cleared the patio fence, jogging lightly over to you. Before you could comprehend what was happening, it started to devour the food on your plate.

“Hey!” you went to push its massive head when the waiter rushed to your table.

“Ma’am, please control your dog.  _He_  cannot eat off the table like that,” the waiter eyed the dog’s giant, sagging balls with disgust. You grabbed the dog by the scruff of the neck and apologized, beginning to tell the waiter than he wasn’t your dog, but it then buried its face in between your tits and growled. The waiter gave you an odd look and walked away. When you smacked the top of the dog’s head, it gave you a familiar grin that suddenly made everything  _crystal_  fucking clear.

“Rick?!” you whispered in an aggressive ton, ducking the two of you down so no one could hear.

“W-whatcha think baby? It’s my latest experiment, I’m testing out –” you cut him off by wrapping your hands around his muzzle.

“ _Hush_. Why the fuck would you turn yourself into a dog and wander around town? You’re supposed to be on the Citadel finding me some – forget it. How the hell did you even find me?” Rick snuck another piece of bacon off your plate when you released his mouth and chomped happily, his drool getting all over your lap.

“I-I told you, you smell really good,” he said, giving you a wolfish grin.

“If you think I am about to fuck you as a dog, I swear to god I will take you to get castrated right now,” you said, smacking him as he went to bury his face in your tits again.

“Bestiality isn’t really - _uurp_ \- my style. But what if  _you_  were-you could be a dog too. I know how much you  _loooove_  doggy-style. Imagine when you’re in heat baby,” you stood up at that and grabbed your purse, tossing some cash onto the check and walking out of the patio. The large dog bounded after you, barking loudly and stealing a pancake from an unfortunate child’s hand. The two of you rushed out as the kid started to wail.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear any of that. You better be a human again by the time you come over tonight,” you warned him as he trotted alongside you.

“ _F-fine_ , last time I try to do something kinky for you,” he huffed. He turned to leave the way he came, but not before burying his face deep in your crotch. He narrowly dodged the swift kick to his ass as he ran away, howling to himself in laughter.


	21. Pillow Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Pillow Fight!

“Place your bets, Flimbops and Gouldorps! Place your bets here!”

A large six-armed alien flailed his long limbs around, collecting the money that eager spectators waived over their heads. Rick had shoved his way to a good spot at the front of the arena’s railing, overseeing the sand-covered pit beneath you. You stuck close to him, eyeing the various aliens around you with curious caution. He had insisted this would be a fun date night, but you were quickly learning that Rick’s idea of _fun_ was not completely conventional.

He reached into his coat pocket and grabbed his flask, taking a long pull before offering you some with a raise of his eyebrow. You obliged, knocking back the bitter liquid and fighting off a coughing fit as the strong liquor scalded your throat.

The bell gave a sharp ring and the crowd cheered, causing you to nearly drop the flask. Rick moved quickly to save his precious companion, tucking it into his jacket with a scowl. You both gazed into the pit as two enormous creatures lumbered their way into the center.

You couldn’t quite tell what they were at first. You squinted at the white blobs of organic substance, trying to make out their structures and faces. They looked almost like…pillows? You glanced up at Rick who was whooping at your side, chanting a name in unison with the rest of the crowd.

“TEM-PUR-PE-DIC! TEM-PUR-PE-DIC!”

You looked down into the pit again and realized the blobs were giant pillows with huge mouths full of dripping fangs. You winced as they lunged at each other, feathers flying everywhere as the crowd screamed in excitement. Suddenly, you started chuckling, the laughter taking over your body and causing your eyes to water. Rick looked at you in amusement.

“W-what’s got you giddy?” he asked, pinching your ass. You wiped another tear and pointed towards the pit.

“It’s a pillow fight, Rick. Get it?” he rolled his eyes and smiled before hollering another whoop as Tempurpedic took an especially large bite out of his losing opponent.


	22. Drive!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’

You were cruising down the street on your way home from work. You sang along to the upbeat song on the radio, barely hitting any of the notes. You stopped at a red light, attempting to match the tone of the singer when your passenger door was wretched open. You started to scream but a gruff, panicked voice interrupted you.

“DRIVE! Go go go!” the blue-grey haired man who slid into your seat demanded, limbs tangling in the small space. The mix of adrenaline and fear prohibited you from hesitating as you slammed the gas, causing your car to peel out into the intersection.

“What-what is going on? Who is chasing you??” you demanded, steering rapidly and veering to avoid little old ladies and other cars.

“It’s the fuzz! Fuckers th-think they can catch me,” he was attempting to adjust some sort of gun with green fluid leaking from the top.

“The _police_?” you squeaked, glancing in your review mirror to see red and blue lights flashing rapidly in the distance.

“E-easy baby, I just gotta fix this and –” suddenly the green liquid stopped leaking and hummed the gun to life. “Fuck yeah mother- _uurp_ -fuckers!” he pointed the gun out your window, but instead of pointing it to shoot at the cops, he shot it in front of your car. You slammed on the breaks to avoid the sudden green crater that opened on the street, but the momentum of the vehicle betrayed you and tipped easily through the hole.

You screamed, expecting to fall into a giant pit and be crushed to death. But the car landed gently on a giant, squishy field of some alien texture. Your hair was a mess and you were shaking from the adrenaline. You finally glanced over to the mad scientist who had ruined your perfectly nice evening. He was leaning against the seat, head propped up by his fist as he gave you a devilish smirk.

“Hey baby, name’s Rick Sanchez. You, uhh, wanna put that adrenaline to some good use?” he motioned his head to the back seat. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before attacking his mouth with yours.


	23. Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Orgasm Denial

Rick pumped his fingers into your slick opening, curving them so that they rubbed against the rough spot of your inner wall. You clamped down on them, moaning as you humped his hand.

“L-look at you, so wet for me. You’re pr-practically dripping,” Rick purred as he slowly pulled the beautiful pressure away, denying you another orgasm. You screamed in protest and pulled against the restraints that kept you spread eagle on the bed. He paid no attention to your hissy fit as you cussed and screamed at him, sobbing his name like curse. He had been at it for hours, pushing you deliciously close to the edge with each stroke of his tongue or writhe of his finger. He knew every crevasse and curve of your body. Every intimate spot you yearned for him to touch he had painstakingly explored.

But now, you were sore an exhausted, body aching and tense. He stood at the edge of the bed with his arms clasped behind his back as you spit at him and bucked like an animal. You were wild, beyond any sense of pride or dignity. He drank in the sight of you undone and dehumanized. Your nostrils flared as you bared your teeth, disgusted and enraptured by the god and demon before you.

“A-are you finished?” he inquired, arching his brow. You relaxed your body and started to sob, completely drained and deprived of what you wanted. He had broken you, _finally_ broken you. That defeat was enough as he crawled towards you on the bed. You didn’t move to meet him, knowing it was just another trick. Another painful reminder of the pleasure that would never be yours.

“What do-do you want, baby girl?” he kissed your hipbones gently, sucking and biting them where they jutted out at the skin. You repeated the same mantra that had been your curse for the past few hours.

“I want to cum daddy,” you said, breathing out a loud sigh as his finger traced your aching and engorged clit. It stood painfully out between your labia, barely visible from your view. But you felt your heartbeat strong there and in your core. You turned your face towards him as tears streaked down your cheek. He smiled at your complete submission, the exhaustion, and the desperate pleading in your tearful eyes.

“Y-you’ve been so good for daddy,” he moaned as he stuck his fingers in your mouth. You sucked with what little energy you had and bucked your hips when he brought the wet fingers to your core. He pumped them in and out quickly as he settled between your legs. He made delicate circles around your clit with his tongue as his fingers rubbed your just right. Your orgasm was in sight, so close and beautiful. You chased it as you rode his hand and mouth, and you hated it, knowing it would be ripped from you again. You started to sob at the beautiful feeling and cherished it dearly. He paused and looked up you.

“You close?” You nodded as you looked lazily down at him.

Without warning, he devoured you. He sucked and curled his fingers so that your orgasm came rushing to its crest, depriving you of air as it suddenly peaked and crashed. You went stiff, arching your back as the most powerful orgasm ripped through you, destroying every inch of your flesh. You sobbed and screamed, worshipping Rick as he patiently helped you to ride it out. Your pussy clamped down on his hand over and over again as each and every orgasm that you had been denied rolled through you.

After what felt like an eternity, you twitched and shivered as your exhausted body came to a rest. You barely noticed when Rick untied your limbs, your ears ringing, and your body numb. He grabbed a blanket to pull over the two of you as he pulled you close, large limbs enveloping your frame. Sleep came quickly as your eyes fluttered, exhaustion heavily weighing them down. You meant to say thank you, to worship the man who brought you unimaginable pain and pleasure. But he didn’t complain. He _knew_. You were his to build up and to tear back down.


	24. Werewolf Rick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DWC prompt: We've had enough vampire Ricks. What about a werewolf Rick?

You checked the lunar calendar app on your phone and sighed. How the fuck had you forgotten it was a full moon tonight? No wonder Rick was late…

You knew the drill. You grabbed the meat you  _had_  been defrosting to make beef skewers with, begrudgingly, and got in your car.   
  
You drove to the same spot he always went to after he shifted. Getting out of your car, you could hear the mad howls and angry snarling already. You rolled your eyes and opened the backseat, grabbing and unwrapping the meat.   
  
“Riiiiiiiiick! Look what I have! Some nice, uh,” you squinted at the label, “ _lightly trimmed flank steak_! C’mon! This shit was like nine dollars a pound!”   
  
The bushes of the local park rustled some, a hairy face popping up and sniffing suspiciously. He snorted through his snout, drool  _somehow_  still on his muzzle despite his harrier and more canine appearance.   
  
“Alright, let’s go. I’m sure you’ve chased down every damn squirrel in the park.” 

You wiggled a piece of meat in the air and tossed it towards the bush. He leapt to catch it, scarfing down the piece in one smack of his jaw. He licked his lips and trotted over to you.

His wolf form made him taller than he normally was, even though he was on all fours with paws. He looked like an sickly, old wolf; the kind that would make activists claim cruelty. But he was just a lanky, alcoholic old beast. No different than his human form.   
  
He sat on his ass and panted at you, bringing up his hind leg to scratch himself behind his ear. His transformations always ripped his clothes despite your protests to just have him strip before hand. He was  _such_ a drama queen.

He sniffed his paw that was brought up towards his head before ducking his head down to clean and lick at his balls. 

“Ew Rick, stop! C’mon, just get your ass in the car. I do not want to deal with animal control again. You always get multiple complaints called in. Here,” you dangled more meat at him, before tossing it into the back seat. He jumped to chase after it, nearly knocking you over. 

You huffed and slammed the door behind him, earning a yelp as it smooshed his hairy ass. You got back in the car, placing the package of meat onto your console for him to devour. Buckling yourself in, you adjusted your mirror and pulled away. 

You had been furious when he got himself bit while on one of his  _adventures_. You knew that he could easily whip up a cure so that you didn’t have to go through this every month. He claimed that if he was to put up with your period for a  _week_ , you could handle one night. It was a fair argument unfortunately…

You knew he liked the escape; the one night a month he didn’t have to remember who he was or how he had fucked up his life. His wolf form took a liking to you quickly after his first few transformations. It was all routine at this point.

He adjusted his huge body to lay down in the back seat, his large head hovering between the two front seats. He panted loudly in your ear, his breath reeking of alcohol and raw meat. You scratched him under his chin, his tail loudly thumping behind him. 

You couldn’t help but smile, thinking that maybe  _both_  of you liked him better this way.

 

* * *

 

The wonderful [Pluvio](http://pluviofleur.tumblr.com/) made the most AMAZING fanart of werewolf Rick based on this fic! If you go ask nicely, they may even make more for you ;)

[Pic One](https://78.media.tumblr.com/2c767279ab1d2d0a6e0b44f5a563378a/tumblr_p5d291a5vn1v058y1o1_1280.jpg)

[Pic Two](https://78.media.tumblr.com/3930c9445befa6e50ef5ddf202deda78/tumblr_p5engcdy0M1v058y1o1_1280.jpg)

 


	25. Honest Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DWC: YOU ATE WHAT???

“YOU ATE WHAT???”  
  
“I-I thought it  _-uurp-_  was an ice cream topping. H-how the fuck was I-I supp-okay look bitch, s-stop fucking laughing,”  
  
“Rick, you used an  _entire_  tube of strawberry flavored lube to put on your ice cream? Christ, how drunk were you?”  
  
“Yyy-you know what?  _Fuck you!_  Wh-who the fuck puts lube in the goddamn fr-fridge!?”  
  
“In my defense, it said refrigerate after opening.”  
  
“Y-yeah, whatever. G-guess you’re gonna take it-let me ram you dry then, huh? N-not so funny now, is it?”  
  
“Hmm, we do have some olive oil…”  
  
“W-wo- _uurp_ -rks for me, oil my dick up like a french baguette b-biiitch!”

  
“……fine.”


End file.
